I know typos are inevitable and mistakes make us human.
But still, there are places where we need to be extra careful.
And your website’s ‘About Us’ page is one such place.
Since it is the second most visited page, after your home page, you shouldn’t write and forget about it.
Instead, you should keep looking for mistakes and fixing them.
Here are five famous Pakistani companies that have shockingly dumb ‘About Us’ pages.
They have typos, tone problems, narrative issues, or something else bad going on there.
The ‘About Us’ page of Zameen.com doesn’t really talk about its customers.
It says “me, me, and me” from head to toe.
There is no mission, no vision, and no values.
Not only it tells the brand story half-heartedly, but it also has a serious point of view problem.
The ‘About Us’ page begins with a third person but witches to another point of view quickly.
For the first two questions, the point of view is the third-person singular.
But as it reaches the third question it switches to the first person.
Again, see that in the last heading.
The sentence that tells about “Exclusive marketing by Zameen.com” starts with the third person singular.
But it switches to the first person and then shifts back to the third person.
Here’s the sentence:
“The trust and reliability that Zameen.com brings to these projects, and the expertise of our marketing and sales teams, have led to this success, with more than 20 projects worth over PKR 40 billion marketed.” https://www.zameen.com/about/aboutus.html
Overall, Zameen.com has a clumsily written and poorly formatted ‘About Us’ page that has multiple issues of style and voice.
Graana.com’s ‘About Us’ page tells the story.
And does a fairly well job.
But the following text from their footer doesn’t.
“We have introduced an extremely transparent and purposeful portal where we will help you buy, rent, sell or even rent out your property, a place where you can sit back relax and let us market your projects and listings. We believe we have set a new standard for the future of real estate in Pakistan by providing the smartest property portal.”https://www.graana.com/graana/about
I know it’s saying, with our portal you can buy or sell a property as well as rent (as a tenant) or rent out (as a landlord).
But why over-complicating?
The page is full of jargons. Here’s an example:
“After a careful examination and assessment of the dynamics of the real estate industry in Pakistan, the foundation for this much-needed service was laid.” graana.com
Why can’t you simply say:
We made this property listing portal (after knowing the Pakistani real estate) … to help you buy and sell property online.
Also, do you see how it’s hedging?
“We build a purposeful portal”, really?
“We believe we solved a problem”, okay.
These sentences show Graana.com needs to talk more distinctly about its brand.
It’s a mess.
Taj Residentia’s ‘About Us’ page has way too many problems.
It has over a dozen spelling, grammar, and punctuation mistakes.
Plus the company has a whole paragraph written twice.
Also, like Zameen.com it switches between the first and third-person points of view.
It uses over 15 times OUR, OUR, OUR.
But still, it can’t resist including something like this:
“This project is dedicated to enhance the opportunities of parallel growth based on attractive returns for investors, users and to the company itself.”https://tajresidencia.com/
More, no talk about its customers.
Tons of self-praising.
No clearly stated mission, vision, and values.
Overall, the ‘About Us’ page of Taj Residentia fails at communicating the company’s why.
Also, it fails at telling how the company solves its customers’ problem(s).
Capital Smart City
Well, not that smart on its website.
Its ‘About Us’ page is disastrous.
But let’s first talk about the overall user experience.
As you land on the website a video starts playing and you can’t turn it off.
There’s no button for that.
There are boxes of text everywhere but nothing distinct and memorable.
The text in one box reads:
“In view of growing housing demand in the twin cities, FDHL intends to build a quality housing project on M2 Motorway near New Islamabad International Airport falling on the eastern route of CPEC. Capital Smart City aims to become first ever smart city in Pakistan and a model for sustainable development.”https://www.smartcitypk.com/
Capital Smart City’s ‘About Us’ page is also loaded with self-praising.
It doesn’t talk about its customers and how the company solves their problem(s).
It doesn’t tell a story.
It doesn’t share a mission, vision or values.
Parkview actually doesn’t have an ‘About Us’ page.
The intro text on its website is very hard to read.
In fact, its readability score is Grade 14.
This means it’s sending a lot of its customers away.
Because they don’t understand it at all.
“Park view city covers every need of its residents whether you are an adult, a teen or a child.”https://www.parkviewcity.com.pk/
It’s not Park view city, but Park View City, with capital P, V, and C.
Remember the basic capitalization rule of proper nouns?
Always capitalize the first letter, so Park View City.
Apart from style and grammar issues, its text makes no sense.
Read this one:
“Luxurious facilities within the community can easily take care of any pent-up stress due to rush hours.”
What is it trying to say?
It looks they have piled up every housing-related word they could grab into those huge text blocks.
Here’s one more sentence:
“Elegant housing plan and modern state of the art facilities ranging from hospital, school, mosque, parks, cinema, shopping mall, food street, gym, zoo and a huge sports complex with indoor and outdoor sports like bowling, swimming, golf, snooker and many more within the gated community allowing you and your family to utilize the basic needs and enjoy the luxuries of life in a secure stress-free environment.”https://www.parkviewcity.com.pk/
One word: horrible.
Spending tons of money on marketing alone doesn’t make sense.
Because marketing stands on branding.
Marketing tells what you do but branding tells who you are.
Marketing, no matter how effective, is short term.
Whereas, branding is long-term.
Marketing is tactical and changes with every new project.
But branding is strategic.
It’s what creates a loyal community of advocate customers around your brand.
So get rid of your dumb ‘About Us’ page. Book a time today for a FREE consultation.